Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Be joyful always

Funny when life takes you on unexpected turns.
Its not easy to trust God in the midst of uncertainty.
Today was an interesting day.
questions flooded my mind, uncertainty filled my thoughts;
Its difficult when you're put on the spot, forced to make a decision;
with just a few choices and none sounding appealing.
I'm trying to make the best of this new unfamiliar situation.
It could possibly turn out to be a really good thing. Only time will tell.

"Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. For this is God's will for you in Chris Jesus" 1 thess. 5:17

Monday, April 28, 2008

And so it begins.

Its time to let go. I question my self-worth and dont understand why it is so difficult to see myself the way God sees me. God is good and God answers.
Its time to journey in a new direction.
As i cried out to God, "Father why? Why am i so insecure? Why do i lack confidence in myself? Why do i doubt your goodness when you have rescued me time and time again? " The answer is simple, My eyes are not fixed on Him and Him alone. As much as i have grown in my faith, i still lack a great amount. There are heavy rocks weighing me down, and it is time to unload my basket.

So this new direction begins with turning my ashes into beauty..
Fakeness into being real
inadequate into adequate
sadness into joy
judgement into loving others
jealousy into not being jealous
lonliness into friendship
sharp peircing words into silence
shyness into confidence
lack of self-worth into self-worth
numbness into emotion
seclusion into being open
my past into the present

"Falling backwards into my past does me no good, it prevents me from letting go of the person i used to be in all of my yesterdays. Jumping forward into the future does me no good, i was never promised tomorrow. Surviving my yesterdays was a miracle; Today is a gift from God; and thats all i have, and thats all i was meant to live..."

"So i fall into you, i'm desperate and weak, Crying out from my heart, take all of me"
-Phil Wickham.